You may not make raisins by hiding grapes by the lamp. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2008 12:43:34 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

You may not fly the new hamster cage around even though it does sort of look like a space craft.

Monday, July 07, 2008 6:12:43 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

Only the adults get to use such things as the chainsaw and the sledgehammer.  We are thrilled you children want to help with renovations, but we'd like everyone to come out of it at the end with all their limbs and digits.

Sunday, June 22, 2008 1:53:35 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

You cannot keep your hair from your haircut to clone yourself.  We're Catholic  We don't clone.  Besides, if God wanted two of you Sean, you would have been twins.

Thursday, May 15, 2008 7:10:39 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [1] 

#315 - You may not tie one end of the jump rope on the hand rail on the stairs and the other end around your waist.  I know what you're up to.  Don't try it. It will only cause you pain.

No, not Sean.  Miriam.

#316 - Please keep your feet off the wall.  I know you're just trying to see how far up the wall you can climb up with your back against the table Sean, but I don't want to clean off footprints from the wall.  Or worse, have to explain why there are footprints on the wall.

Saturday, May 10, 2008 10:32:11 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

Don't bounce balls off of Mommy's face. 

Though it was nice of you to want to share your ball Maura.  Sharing is still a good thing.  But Mommy spent four long years of high school P.E. trying to duck out of the way of softballs, tennis balls, footballs, and wasn't always successful.  Needless to say, Mommy is more than a bit flinchy when it comes to this sort of thing.

Friday, May 02, 2008 9:27:44 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

No hitting below the belt.  I know you two were just playing around, but that wasn't his hip you hit. 

Friday, May 02, 2008 10:26:26 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

Don't throw rocks at each other.  It doesn't matter if it's a game and you're both trying to hit each other with rocks while riding bikes. 

For that matter, don't throw anything hard at each other.  Even in fun.  It gives your parents visions of stitches and concussions.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008 5:45:44 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

No pranks involving liquid inside the house.

No worms in the house.

No pranks involving pies.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008 4:57:14 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

You may not use an orange as a tennis ball.  But thank you for asking first Sean. 

Tuesday, March 25, 2008 7:30:15 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

You are not allowed to bounce a tennis ball off the kitchen ceiling. 

Tuesday, March 25, 2008 4:40:44 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

You may not open up the brand new box of Dixie cups and use them to make pyramids.  Dixie cups aren't toys.

No...really...I mean it...

Tuesday, March 04, 2008 5:46:33 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

When your brother says "OW!", get off him. 

Sunday, February 10, 2008 7:15:35 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

No peeing on people.  Especially the children.  They don't like it.

The dog just peed on Collin.  Well, he was peeing on the floor and hit Collin while doing so.

Really, he should be doing neither.  Especially since I just let him out a few moments ago.

However, I will admit, it made me giggle.  Because I'm a horrible person like that.  Poor Collin.  I made Sean clean up the dog pee while Collin cleaned himself up.  Because the one who gets peed upon shouldn't have to clean it up as well.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 5:52:21 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

Don't roll play dough out on the walls.  Or the floors.  Use the table please.  Yes, that means removing your Star Wars battalion made from Legos off said table.  But no play dough on walls.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008 10:34:22 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

No throwing chairs.  I don't care how small, how soft, who did what first, or if you're "in battle".  Stick to Nerf guns and light sabers.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008 6:11:09 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

Potatoes are not toys.

Saturday, December 29, 2007 8:58:52 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

Gloves and mittens are not disposable objects.  You do not get a new pair every day.  I don't care how cheap they are at Target.  If you forget them on the bus, then get them the next day when you get back on the bus.  This goes for hats as well.

Yes Sean, I'm mainly talking to you.

And while we're on the subject of new rules, thou shalt not eat the hamster food unless thou art a hamster. Nor the fish food.

Again, talking to you Sean.

Saturday, December 08, 2007 5:10:40 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

On days the bathroom floods, you order pizza for dinner.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007 8:41:57 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] 

With kids comes strange rules.  Don't drag the baby by his ankles across the room.  Don't lick the cat.

Our latest one - Don't take fruit you don't know how to eat to school.

In case you were wondering, it was Sean and a pomegranate.

Monday, November 05, 2007 9:22:33 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0]